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| Harlie Shavonne, 4 weeks old |
Dear Harlie,
This is the story of your birth. You are about to have a baby sister and I wanted to put this special day in writing for you and for me before she comes. I also want to thank you for helping to make the experience everything I hoped it would be. Because it was pretty darn awesome.
The American Music Awards will always remind me of the night before you were born. Relishing in the fact that it was the Sunday night before my first official day of maternity leave, I stayed up
way too late watching them. It was 11:30pm before I finally fell asleep on the couch and Monday morning I was scheduled to have an appointment with Dr. Bu for my 38 week check-up.
Two short hours later I'm awoken by a POP! A sensation that I could almost hear it was so strange. Clearly my water had broken - I knew that for sure, so I got up and hurried to the bathroom, then headed up the stairs to wake Scott with "Babe, I think my water just broke!" After I took a quick shower, Scott loaded my bag and our snacks into the car, and we walked into the hospital at around 2:30am. Scott had called Nana while I was in the shower and I called Grandma once we were in the car. The rest of the trip was spent repeatedly trying to contact Auntie Keri, whose phone was off of the hook! Really?!
It was on the drive to Mercy San Juan that my contractions started. They really only felt like mild menstrual cramps at this point but each time they came, I would gush a little bit of water, so I was anxious to get there. The perk about your water breaking in the middle of the night is that you get to go straight to labor and delivery and there's no traffic or hassle finding parking! Once we were at the nurse's station, we were led straight to a delivery room, where I changed into my hospital gown, used the restroom one last time and settled onto the bed that I wouldn't leave for the next 10 hours. When the nurses checked me I was at 4 cm. This was GREAT news, since Dr. Bu had told me weeks before that once I was dilated to 4 cm, I could have the epidural. Although I wasn't needing it yet, I told the nurses right away that I wanted it, so they could round up the anesthesiologist. Since the pain of childbirth was my number one fear going into this, it was such a relief to know it was coming. Lucky for me, I had already been dilated to 3cm at my check-up the week before...so all the stars had begun to align even before going into labor.
Scott stayed right by my bed as the contractions started to worsen. They had hooked me up to the monitors, so it was kinda fun watching the spikes on the screen as the contractions hit. As the contractions became increasingly more painful, I started to get kinda grumpy, but by the time the anesthesiologist arrived at 5:00am, they still only felt like the worst cramps I'd ever had so I wasn't complaining. AND OH BOY once I had that epidural, it was like the heavens opened up...sweet relief and adrenaline kicked in. I was instantly anxiety free and couldn't feel a damn thing. It was so totally awesome! Scott still teases me because from that point on I was all smiles and giggles. Giggling mostly because I really couldn't believe that you, this little person were making your way out of my body and I had no pain. Are you kidding me? This is really happening? OH wow, there's the top of your little head - How cool!!! Okay, okay I'm jumping ahead...
For the next couple of hours, we just hung out in the room and were able to have visitors. Grandma and Papa, Nana, Aunt Mandy and Blair, Auntie Keri...this was the most fun for me, because everyone was so excited. It was finally the day!
At around 7:00am, Dr. Bu called. I was able to talk to her and she told me that since my water had already broke and I was still at 4 cm, she wanted to start me on pitocin. I wasn't thrilled about this but agreed. I found out later that I hadn't been checked since I first checked into the hospital so Dr. Bu was basing this decision on old information. After I got off the phone, they checked me again and I was already between 8 and 9 cm. I know they started the pitocin and then stopped it, but I'm not exactly sure how long it was going. This is the only complaint I have about the whole experience. Somewhere there was a breakdown in communication that should have been avoided, but luckily I didn't experience any negative effects from the pitocin (still feelin' nothin'!), I just will know better for next time to ask more questions. During this time as well, they had me intermittently taking a few breaths from an oxygen mask, because your oxygen levels were a little low, but none of the nurses ever seemed too concerned so I remained relaxed.
9'oclock rolled around and I got checked again and it looked we were ready to go! My nurse called my doctor and as we waited for her to arrive, I was told that we were going to try and push a couple of times. Clearly they wanted to test how helpful I was going to be since I couldn't feel my toes. :-) We'd watch the monitor and as my contractions spiked I would take a deep breath, puff my cheeks out and will myself to push. It was kind of hilarious because since I couldn't feel any pressure, knowing if I was DOING it was hard, but apparently I was pushing ok, because I got the thumbs up, I was doing good! (Sidenote: I found out later that they had turned my epidural off before I started pushing, but the effects lasted fully until well after you were born). Actually, I think you Harlie were the superstar in this story. Because even between pushes you were still movin' towards the light. My nurses even started to get anxious because you were coming so fast, but my doctor (i.e. baby catcher) wasn't there yet!
Now, back to the story I was telling you about my giggling. In the moments between pushes, Scott and the nurses and I were talking about where you were and how fast you were coming, and I was just marveling at the fact that I was so SO afraid of how much this would hurt and yet here I am, with a baby making it's way down the birth canal like it's nothin'. Because it's not nothing! It's huge, it's an absolute miracle that the body prepares and changes to allow an entire person to grow inside of you and then actually EXIT through what is normally a very narrow channel. And yet, here's me like the super sophisticated gal that I am, laughing like "Ah ha ha....DUDE I can see my baby's head and guess what, no pain! Hahahaha!" Yeah I'm super mature...but your dad shouldn't make fun because I know he was nervous going in and I'm glad he was able to enjoy the experience in the same way. One of these funny but amazing moments was when the nurse asked me if I wanted to see a mirror because you, Harlie had crowned and she could see your red(!) curly (?) hair (she thought it might be curly, but it was just wavy from the being wet). I absolutely did not want to use a mirror, because I didn't want to see everything else going on down there, BUT if I bended forward slightly, there you really were and it was an incredible feeling. It was mind blowing that I was about to meet you in a few moments. All of those months of waiting now hinged on a few more pushes.
When we could no longer wait for Dr. Bu, they called the on call doc in and yeah I got a little self conscious...because it was a GUY! I had intentionally chosen a female doctor and here we are in the final moments and dude over here is going to deliver??? But NOT SO FAST! As he's slipping on his gloves, Dr. Bu rushes in like a super hero rescuing the damsel in distress, basically shoves the guy to the side and the nurses whip on her coat, hat, gloves and shiny! REFLECTIVE! (yikes) mask in a nano-second it seemed. I push again,
maybe two times and out you came, at 10:04 am. My gorgeous girl, with a full head of soft red hair, looking exactly like your daddy's newborn photo. Your forehead, nose (which got a little smashed during your journey), and lips all looked just like him. You were perfect. 6 pounds, 15 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long. And that little newborn cry...the one that sounds like a baby lamb, was the sweetest sound in that moment. You were healthy and you were finally here.
That day and the following week I will remember as the sweetest, most precious week of my life. Those days of getting to know you and falling in love with both you and your daddy all over again are moments I will never need this blog to remember. You have brought me so much joy and have filled my heart with more love than I knew was possible. These days you run around with it in your pocket...and I hope, sweet girl that you hold on tight to it wherever you go.
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