Father's Day

I had plans to do a survey with Harlie, but daycare beat me to the punch. I think these are so cute!

What a week!

It's day one of my four day weekend and boy do I need it. Both girls started daycare this week....and luckily Harlie loves her new place, which makes me so happy and relieved. Scott drops her off and picks her up each day and says he's really pleased with the environment there. Oh, thank God. Ashlynne's first day at Baby Club Med (thanks Jessica for the analogy) was Monday and after 4 weeks at home with Scott, I was nervous about being prepared, but grateful I wouldn't be starting back to work the same day. I had become accustomed to being away from her  for 4 hours at a time, so now I just had to handle handing her off to PERFECT STRANGERS. But wouldn't you know as I fumbled my way around the infant room I totally started to lose it. I felt anxious as I put her milk away and stuffed her bibs and crib sheets into her cubby, cutely decorated with a big strawberry and "Ashlynne" written in Sharpie.  And then, as I bent down to take Ashlynne out of her carseat, my eyes filled with tears. Big juicy ones that I couldn't keep in by tilting my head back and taking a deep breath. I pulled Ashlynne out and hugged her tight, burying my face in her hair and then the ugly cry hit. Oh freakin' no! I was so embarrassed and sad and wanted to run back home with her. Luckily one of the girls was very sweet and reassured me that she knows it's hard and that they feel like crying for us when parents have to leave them for the first time (I can't imagine this is true but it did make me feel better). The best part of that day and every day since has been making my visit during lunch time-- to nurse and cuddle Ashlynne and witness a small piece of what it's like for her while I'm a work just around the corner.

Luckily her sleep improved as the week went on...

Each subsequent day has brought challenges, one of them being on day two when I sent 3 bottles of milk and was told at lunch time that they wouldn't be enough to last the day. Ashlynne hadn't been napping well and had been acting hungry so down the hatch all that hard earned liquid gold went. Not a great time for a growth spurt Ash. For real. This stuh-ressed me out so much that I had my mom pick Ash up early from daycare and had to come up with a strategy to boost my supply stat. Adding nightly pump sessions was obvious, and then dear Melanie gave me a ton of advice that I'll be using as well. Which leads me to today and the nursing vacation Mel suggested. Aside from helping Scott take the Toyota into the car shop, Ashlynne and I stayed in bed all day long...eating, playing, eating, eating, sleeping, and eating.

 Harlie joined us for a couple hours to watch Brave and snuggle. Then she and Scott spent the afternoon together having lunch and experiencing Glow Bounce at Bounce U. She had a great time and I was so glad they were able to have some quality time together, which can be hard to come by these days. Life is CHAAAAAOS lately. This video of the two of them makes my heart smile.


Glow Bounce - Scott and Harlie from Erin Wilson on Vimeo.

Heaven Blew Every Trumpet and Played Every Horn...(Harlie's Birth Story)

Harlie Shavonne, 4 weeks old

Dear Harlie,

This is the story of your birth. You are about to have a baby sister and I wanted to put this special day in writing for you and for me before she comes. I also want to thank you for helping to make the experience everything I hoped it would be. Because it was pretty darn awesome.

The American Music Awards will always remind me of the night before you were born. Relishing in the fact that it was the Sunday night before my first official day of maternity leave, I stayed up way too late watching them. It was 11:30pm before I finally fell asleep on the couch and Monday morning I was scheduled to have an appointment with Dr. Bu for my 38 week check-up.

Two short hours later I'm awoken by a POP! A sensation that I could almost hear it was so strange. Clearly my water had broken - I knew that for sure, so I got up and hurried to the bathroom, then headed up the stairs to wake Scott with "Babe, I think my water just broke!" After I took a quick shower, Scott loaded my bag and our snacks into the car, and we walked into the hospital at around 2:30am. Scott had called Nana while I was in the shower and I called Grandma once we were in the car. The rest of the trip was spent repeatedly trying to contact Auntie Keri, whose phone was off of the hook! Really?!

It was on the drive to Mercy San Juan that my contractions started. They really only felt like mild menstrual cramps at this point but each time they came, I would gush a little bit of water, so I was anxious to get there. The perk about your water breaking in the middle of the night is that you get to go straight to labor and delivery and there's no traffic or hassle finding parking!  Once we were at the nurse's station, we were led straight to a delivery room, where I changed into my hospital gown, used the restroom one last time and settled onto the bed that I wouldn't leave for the next 10 hours. When the nurses checked me I was at 4 cm. This was GREAT news, since Dr. Bu had told me weeks before that once I was dilated to 4 cm, I could have the epidural. Although I wasn't needing it yet, I told the nurses right away that I wanted it, so they could round up the anesthesiologist. Since the pain of childbirth was my number one fear going into this, it was such a relief to know it was coming. Lucky for me, I had already been dilated to 3cm at my check-up the week before...so all the stars had begun to align even before going into labor.

Scott stayed right by my bed as the contractions started to worsen. They had hooked me up to the monitors, so it was kinda fun watching the spikes on the screen as the contractions hit. As the contractions became increasingly more painful, I started to get kinda grumpy, but by the time the anesthesiologist arrived at 5:00am, they still only felt like the worst cramps I'd ever had so I wasn't complaining. AND OH BOY once I had that epidural, it was like the heavens opened up...sweet relief and adrenaline kicked in. I was instantly anxiety free and couldn't feel a damn thing. It was so totally awesome! Scott still teases me because from that point on I was all smiles and giggles. Giggling mostly because I really couldn't believe that you, this little person were making your way out of my body and I had no pain. Are you kidding me? This is really happening? OH wow, there's the top of your little head - How cool!!!  Okay, okay I'm jumping ahead...

For the next couple of hours, we just hung out in the room and were able to have visitors. Grandma and Papa, Nana, Aunt Mandy and Blair, Auntie Keri...this was the most fun for me, because everyone was so excited. It was finally the day!

At around 7:00am, Dr. Bu called. I was able to talk to her and she told me that since my water had already broke and I was still at 4 cm, she wanted to start me on pitocin. I wasn't thrilled about this but agreed. I found out later that I hadn't been checked since I first checked into the hospital so Dr. Bu was basing this decision on old information. After I got off the phone, they checked me again and I was already between 8 and 9 cm. I know they started the pitocin and then stopped it, but I'm not exactly sure how long it was going. This is the only complaint I have about the whole experience. Somewhere there was a breakdown in communication that should have been avoided, but luckily I didn't experience any negative effects from the pitocin (still feelin' nothin'!), I just will know better for next time to ask more questions. During this time as well, they had me intermittently taking a few breaths from an oxygen mask, because your oxygen levels were a little low, but none of the nurses ever seemed too concerned so I remained relaxed.

9'oclock rolled around and I got checked again and it looked we were ready to go! My nurse called my doctor and as we waited for her to arrive,  I was told  that we were going to try and push a couple of times. Clearly they wanted to test how helpful I was going to be since I couldn't feel my toes. :-) We'd watch the monitor and as my contractions spiked I would take a deep breath, puff my cheeks out and will myself to push. It was kind of hilarious because since I couldn't feel any pressure, knowing if I was DOING it was hard, but apparently I was pushing ok, because I got the thumbs up, I was doing good! (Sidenote: I found out later that they had turned my epidural off before I started pushing, but the effects lasted fully until well after you were born). Actually, I think you Harlie were the superstar in this story. Because even between pushes you were still movin' towards the light.  My nurses even started to get anxious because you were coming so fast, but my doctor (i.e. baby catcher) wasn't there yet!

Now, back to the story I was telling you about my giggling. In the moments between pushes, Scott and the nurses and I were talking about where you were and how fast you were coming, and I was just marveling at the fact that I was so SO afraid of how much this would hurt and yet here I am, with a baby making it's way down the birth canal like it's nothin'. Because it's not nothing! It's huge, it's an absolute miracle that the body prepares and changes to allow an entire person to grow inside of you and then actually EXIT through what is normally a very narrow channel. And yet, here's me like the super sophisticated gal that I am, laughing like "Ah ha ha....DUDE I can see my baby's head and guess what, no pain! Hahahaha!" Yeah I'm super mature...but your dad shouldn't make fun because I know he was nervous going in and I'm glad he was able to enjoy the experience in the same way. One of these funny but amazing moments was when the nurse asked me if I wanted to see a mirror because you, Harlie had crowned and she could see your red(!) curly (?) hair (she thought it might be curly, but it was just wavy from the being wet). I absolutely did not want to use a mirror, because I didn't want to see everything else going on down there, BUT if I bended forward slightly, there you really were and it was an incredible feeling. It was mind blowing that I was about to meet you in a few moments. All of those months of waiting now hinged on a few more pushes.

When we could no longer wait for Dr. Bu, they called the on call doc in and yeah I got a little self conscious...because it was a GUY! I had intentionally chosen a female doctor and here we are in the final moments and dude over here is going to deliver??? But NOT SO FAST! As he's slipping on his gloves, Dr. Bu rushes in like a super hero rescuing the damsel in distress, basically shoves the guy to the side and the nurses whip on her coat, hat, gloves and shiny! REFLECTIVE! (yikes) mask in a nano-second it seemed. I push again, maybe two times and out you came, at 10:04 am. My gorgeous girl, with a full head of soft red hair, looking exactly like your daddy's newborn photo. Your forehead, nose (which got a little smashed during your journey), and lips all looked just like him. You were perfect. 6 pounds, 15 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long. And that little newborn cry...the one that sounds like a baby lamb, was the sweetest sound in that moment. You were healthy and you were finally here.

That day and the following week I will remember as the sweetest, most precious week of my life. Those days of getting to know you and falling in love with both you and your daddy all over again are moments I will never need this blog to remember. You have brought me so much joy and have filled my heart with more love than I knew was possible. These days you run around with it in your pocket...and I hope, sweet girl that you hold on tight to it wherever you go.

14 weeks

I know I skipped a week, but at 13 weeks we were on vacation in Tahoe:

Which was fun and exhausting and something I hope we keep doing every year.

The day before we left I had my 12 week check-up and I was able to listen to the baby's heartbeat (yay!) and meet Dr. Juhn. She was lovely and answered my gazillion questions with a smile, I was glad I felt so comfortable since the drive to her office is the worst ever. Alllllll the way down Sunrise Boulevard, until it dead ends...I'm not joking.Not sure if she'll actually be delivering my baby, as we might be switching to Kaiser, but I know I'm in good hands until then.

Then, 2 days after we got back from Tahoe I had my first trimester screening ultrsound. It was SO exciting to see our little peanut and he/she looked so BIG. She is only the size of my finger, but you can already see so much detail, it's amazing. The doc said everything looked great, but he is going to request that my doc change my due date to Feb 9th, since baby measured 13 weeks, 3 days on the ultrasound. This jives with the nurse practictioner's estimation of a Feb 8th due date, so I'm happy the baby is showing consistent growth. Here's a peek at Peanut:

And here's a peek of my 14 week bump. Doesn't look like I've grown much, but people at work have noticed and it's too hard to hide under clothes anymore, really.

Sorry about the no make-up-or hairstyle. Am LAZY!

No onto the fun part!

How far along are you?: 14 Weeks

Total weight gain: I weighed myself a couple days ago in the morning and it was still 7 pounds.

How big is the baby?: 3 1/2 inches long, about the size of a lemon

Maternity clothes: Not yet....almost time.

Stretch marks?: No new ones, yet.

Sleep: I feel like I might be sleeping a little bit better I had the best sleep of my pregnant life one night in Tahoe. Only got up 2 times to pee. And they had these glorious memory foam beds and a king size down pillow I spooned with.

Best moment this week: Seeing peanut in action for sure! He/she was so active kicking it's legs and moving it's arms up and down and in and out of it's mouth. Amazing! Bummer part is I found out I have an anterior placenta (it's in front of the baby), so I might not feel kicks as early as I had hoped.

Movement: Not yet.

Food cravings: New ones this week were chocolate cake and chocolate donuts. Also craved cheese enchiladas and sushi again.

Food aversions: I basically have no desire to cook anything ever. It sucks.

Labor signs: No!

Belly button in or out: In.

What I miss:  Energy, lunch meat, egg yolk,

What I'm looking forward to: My gender scan on the 26th!!!!

Another Twist and the Biggest Gift

Four years ago, on my 30th birthday I looked like this:

20 weeks pregnant with Harlie

 
 And today, I look like this:

11 weeks pregnant with "Peanut"

Yup! "Peanut" is Scott's nickname for the new little baby that will be arriving on or around February 8th.  I'm really getting excited as the weeks tick by, especially for that sweet newborn smell and a little playmate for Harlikins. When we told Harlie about the new baby, she didn't have much of a reaction at first but then she reached down and hugged my belly, putting her head in my lap. It was so sweet.  She wants a baby sister and when I asked her what we should name it, she proclaimed, "Little Crownie!"  Okay then, princess obsessed much?  It took her awhile to let her friends at daycare in on the news...she had told me she wasn't going to tell because it was a secret, but just the other day she spilled the beans and Jessica kindly wrote me an email to tell me about it:

So Emelia finished her snack early and was flipping through a book and saw a picture of a baby with umbilical chord/in utero. She asked "what is on this baby?!"

and it spurred a little convo on what babies look like when they are growing in the belly. Harlie sort of whispers "I'm going to have a new baby."

And I said, will you tell Emelia, too? And Harlie puts her hands in the air (like a gym ta-da) and says pretty loudly, "My mom has one of those. I am going to have a new baby!"

And I asked Emelia, "Did you hear that??? Harlie's mom has a baby in her tummy!" And Emelia says, "I already knew that! I found out at Christmas. It is going to be a girl with polka dots right here (she points to her head, like a head band)." 

haha funny girls.

 Austin was pretty surprised I think but since he has so many little kids in his family these days, he doesn't have preference for a girl or a boy...he's surrounded by them all!

We had our first doctor appt a couple weeks ago and Peanut looked great. We got to see the two hemispheres of the brain, the leg and arm buds, the umbilical cord and best of all the flickering heartbeat!  Here's a photo of Peanut at just about 9 weeks:

I've been so tired and soooo sick this time around.  I'm going to look around for a pregnancy survey to complete each week or so, because I think it will be fun to track my symptoms along the way.

I've gotta good feeling that this is the start of something beautiful. Life is a crazy wonderful adventure, I know that for sure!

Splish Splash

Splurging the extra $15 for a family size Target pool, is totally worth it. Buh-bye, kiddie pool!
 

Now, if only I could hire a pool boy to drain, clean and refill it every day...gotta have dreams, man!
(The ending of this movie kinda cracks me up (she was FINE of course), but you just gotta love home movies!!!)

Mother's Day

I had a pretty great Mother's Day weekend this year. They aren't always as relaxing as I hope they will be, but this year lived up to the hype.  It started out with breakfast in bed on Saturday. This was the second year in a row that I had breakfast delivered to me in bed and I hope it becomes a tradition if only because I get to lounge in bed and listen to someone else cooking in the morning!

This little stinker also made me a special Mother's Day gift at preschool. I love the little survey and I was surprised that she even had some 'right' answers! So cute.

After breakfast we headed to the Charles C.Jensen Botanical Gardens. It had been almost 2 years since we last took Harlie...man does time fly!

To cap off our afternoon we headed to Costco for $1.45 frozen yogurt. Yeah Boy!

Once we got home, we lounged around and and then I headed over to Lush for a haircut and highlight. This is quite an event for me, since I only go about once a year. And this time I got WINE! While I was gone, Harlie and Scott made me a cake. Yum!

Sunday was our annual Mother's Day Brunch up the hill. Scott was able to make it this year, which was especially nice because that meant I was able to kick back a little. Yee haw! It was a lovely day and Mom and Dan prepared a most delicious feast, as always.

 

Finally, to end the weekend, Austin came home from his mom's with a card and orchid for me. So sweet.